As single women who earned this title through a divorce or a break up, a husband's incarceration, or possibly a death, we all are thrown into the world of dating without a guide book. But, without a guide book, there are still tips to learn through my mistakes or through some anecdotal examples I will share with you (names have been changed to protect the not so innocent). I was reminded recently that one good rule of thumb is to research the job for which you are applying, the candidate for whom you are voting, and especially research the new friend whose number you just put in your phone. And if possible, do it before you meet him (or her) for dinner.
"Googling" something or someone has become America's past time and an educational one at that. Even students "Google" just about everything for test taking to Instagram posts. I like to "Google" people (my own version of google that is) sometimes just for fun. I have even "Googled" myself a time or two. The internet knows more about me than I know about myself! One good word of advice though is to research your new acquaintance!!! Criminals and creepers are everywhere!
Here are just a few of the reasons why you should research any man or woman before you go on a date, move in with them, go into business with, or loan money to your new bestie or significant other: Mugshots, marriages, divorces, jobs, homes, more mugshots, more marriages, more divorces, ex-wives, current wives, current husbands, child support delinquency, girl friends, boyfriends, or both. The list goes on and on. I have gone in blind on blind dates, dating website dates, coffee dates, dinner dates, lunch dates, picnics and some other more disastrous dates. In the past, I often forgot my own advice and ended up practically scarred for life after learning way too much over coffee and a bagel with new acquaintances. When you realize that the person sitting across from you thinks they are Tom Hanks in "The Da Vinci Code", a quick escape plan is a must. True story. I heard from a friend that a guy she adored and thought was "the one" was married and had a pregnant girlfriend. If only there were a way to research a person before falling in love.... Fortunately there is Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. But even I have been known to brush off the obvious doubts and ignore that little voice in my head that says "RUN!! " Once, when I discovered my date had an arrest record, I bolted all doors in fear that the domestic assault charges he confessed to over dinner might be a problem for me. All social media is there at our finger tips!!! USE IT!
Men who come in town while "traveling on business", are the worst. I love the guys who slide off their wedding ring while attempting to casually move closer to the young blond at the bar, or at the next stair-master at the gym. These guys are not smooth. But sometimes, they suck you in. I once received a text message from a woman in Las Vegas who was convinced I was dating her husband. I had met this man, several months before, but that was it. How she got my number, I will never know. She asked me late one night, "Are you with my husband?" Several texts and phone calls later, I finally realized who she was talking about, and convinced her he was not with me nor had he ever been "with "me. I recognized his name, and even found pictures of him and his family on social media. When he had invited me to dinner months before, he told me he was a widower with an adult son. He had definitely sold me a pack of lies. I regret now that I didn't tell this poor woman just how many lies he had told me over one dinner six months before she called me. I could have warned her. But I also could have done my own research by following my own advice. My suggestion instead was that they needed couples therapy. I suggested she "Google" some good local Las Vegas marriage counselors....
"Googling" something or someone has become America's past time and an educational one at that. Even students "Google" just about everything for test taking to Instagram posts. I like to "Google" people (my own version of google that is) sometimes just for fun. I have even "Googled" myself a time or two. The internet knows more about me than I know about myself! One good word of advice though is to research your new acquaintance!!! Criminals and creepers are everywhere!
Here are just a few of the reasons why you should research any man or woman before you go on a date, move in with them, go into business with, or loan money to your new bestie or significant other: Mugshots, marriages, divorces, jobs, homes, more mugshots, more marriages, more divorces, ex-wives, current wives, current husbands, child support delinquency, girl friends, boyfriends, or both. The list goes on and on. I have gone in blind on blind dates, dating website dates, coffee dates, dinner dates, lunch dates, picnics and some other more disastrous dates. In the past, I often forgot my own advice and ended up practically scarred for life after learning way too much over coffee and a bagel with new acquaintances. When you realize that the person sitting across from you thinks they are Tom Hanks in "The Da Vinci Code", a quick escape plan is a must. True story. I heard from a friend that a guy she adored and thought was "the one" was married and had a pregnant girlfriend. If only there were a way to research a person before falling in love.... Fortunately there is Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. But even I have been known to brush off the obvious doubts and ignore that little voice in my head that says "RUN!! " Once, when I discovered my date had an arrest record, I bolted all doors in fear that the domestic assault charges he confessed to over dinner might be a problem for me. All social media is there at our finger tips!!! USE IT!
Men who come in town while "traveling on business", are the worst. I love the guys who slide off their wedding ring while attempting to casually move closer to the young blond at the bar, or at the next stair-master at the gym. These guys are not smooth. But sometimes, they suck you in. I once received a text message from a woman in Las Vegas who was convinced I was dating her husband. I had met this man, several months before, but that was it. How she got my number, I will never know. She asked me late one night, "Are you with my husband?" Several texts and phone calls later, I finally realized who she was talking about, and convinced her he was not with me nor had he ever been "with "me. I recognized his name, and even found pictures of him and his family on social media. When he had invited me to dinner months before, he told me he was a widower with an adult son. He had definitely sold me a pack of lies. I regret now that I didn't tell this poor woman just how many lies he had told me over one dinner six months before she called me. I could have warned her. But I also could have done my own research by following my own advice. My suggestion instead was that they needed couples therapy. I suggested she "Google" some good local Las Vegas marriage counselors....